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Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Confessions of an Iranian acid attack victim.

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted.....
  He saves the crushed in spirit......"
                 (Psalm 34:18)

I was born healthy and cute. I was a sweet baby with big, beautiful black eyes. My parents sacrificed so much money and time for my education to make my future secure.
I studied very hard. Studying in Iran is not easy. It is very stressful and very expensive.
Recently the government instructed the universities to offer the majority of the degree programs to only men, depriving women of the opportunity to compete for jobs. Once again, the Iranian Regime is engaging in gender discrimination which is to be expected when living in an Islamic society.
After struggling through University, I met a wonderful man and decided to get married.
You should have seen me! I was a beautiful bride! My parents helped us to have our own dream home.
I was very satisfied and happy. Instead of taking a government job of teaching English, I taught instead at a private institute. The government insisted that I follow all of the Islamic rules and regulations. They quizzed me about the Quran and Islam. I didn't want to be pressured by all of these regulations so teaching at a private institute seemed much more comfortable for me.
Of course, I had to wear a hijab at the institute. Wearing the veil is mandatory for a women in the public workplace.
I was a happy and beautiful bride. I had a great job, a great group of students and a wonderful husband!

Then suddenly, one day, my life totally changed forever!!

I had just rolled down the window of my car to help a motorcycle rider with directions...
when suddenly I was blinded, I couldn't see!!  My whole face felt like a thousand needles had punctured it all at once!!! It was like it was on fire! I screamed and pulled the car off the road as best as I could! My chest, arms and hands felt like I had just climbed inside of a scorched oven!
I immediately began to tear off all of my clothes.

"Cover yourself. You are a woman! Don't remove your clothes in the middle of the street. There are men here!" the voices of women passing by, shouted at me!

I did not know the attacker. I didn't even see his face. What had I done wrong to him?

In just a few seconds he had destroyed my life forever! All that my parents had done for me in more than three decades, he had destroyed in just a few seconds! He had taken everything that God had generously given to me! He had played "God" with my life.
In just a few seconds, he took away my beauty, my eyesight, my future, my life!. He took away everything but my breath....I wish he had killed me...death is better than this life!

I was a patient in the hospital for many long and difficult weeks. I felt like I was in hell when they removed the damaged and scarred skin from my face.  I felt like they had also removed my soul, my whole being!!!  They also took the soul of my parents and husband when they removed the ugly skin from my face.
I will never be able to teach again...the children would be frightened to look at my face.
There is no peace for closure..the government doesn't even look for my attacker. I am scarred and humiliated for life!

I just want my beauty back again, my eyesight back again. I want to smile again. I just want to live again.
I am miserable and yet my attacker is free to enjoy his life. He can see, he can eat, he can have money....he is free to attack more women like me!

My parents have spent all of their money to help husband had to take out a loan and now he cannot pay it off! He is depressed and has to see a psychologist.
I have to get divorced...I have to ask my husband to leave me. He has the right to a normal life. I don't expect him to suffer and "burn" with me.

I just have one question. WHY??? What did I do to deserve this? What sin did I commit? I just want to know who my attacker is...Does he really feel peace now?

Dear God....Please help me....please rescue me from this hell and darkness..please give me beauty again from all of my pain.......